


The Courtship of Kit Purrson

by CaptainDog



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Multi, PB&J, Polyamory, parzimbits, pimmbits, questionable feline advice, someone call jackson galaxy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-09
Updated: 2016-06-09
Packaged: 2018-07-13 22:58:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7141574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainDog/pseuds/CaptainDog
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Yeah, meeting the parents is nerve-wracking. But that's nothing to meeting your boyfriend's precious cat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Courtship of Kit Purrson

**Author's Note:**

> check please! and its characters belong to ngozi and the comic can be found [here](http://omgcheckpleasetumblr.com)

The first time they came to stay with Kent, it felt like coming to meet the parents. They’d met Kent’s actual moms at a game a while back, which had been something of a surprise, albeit a pleasant one. Bitty had immediately engaged them in conversation about cooking and they’d told him all about Kenny’s favorite treats growing up. Jack already knew Amelia and Sadie Parson, having met them back when he’d played with Kent as a teenager. They were great people. There wasn’t much pressure to impress them, so long as Kent was happy.

Kit Purrson was different. The way Kent talked about her made it very clear that she was important, like a child to him. Of course, Bitty and Jack were both very familiar with her antics. She was half the reason Jack even knew what Snapchat was (the other half being Bitty’s dedicated social media presence). Her twitter (@kitpurrsonofficial) was the only non-NHL-related account that Jack followed aside from Bitty’s. Bitty was, of course, completely enamored with the little cat instantly. How could one not, when she was so charming, meowing conversations with Kent and gleefully attacking his jerseys in the videos he posted of her? Jack was more reserved, not one for cat videos in general. He preferred to make a judgement in person. The thing was, there was _hype_ to Kit Purrson. She was on her way to being a minor internet celebrity, but more importantly, she was the light of Kenny’s life.

Bitty was vibrating with excitement as he and Jack made their way to Kent’s apartment. Jack wasn’t so nervous that he was shaking, but he was tense. He didn’t even know how one made a good impression on a cat.

Kent answered the door with his usual smirk, but a real smile was discernible underneath the carefully crafted mask. Jack stepped forward to hug him - Bitty couldn’t because he had his arms full of pie - but Kent stopped him and motioned for them to come inside. “I don’t want her running out into the hall again,” he explained as he shut the door behind them. A quick glance around revealed her seated on the arm of the couch, watching them with green eyes (the same green as Kent’s could be in the right lighting, Jack thought). She was smaller than he expected. He heard Bitty make a little cooing sound beside him as he caught sight of her.

Their attention drifted from Kit as they set their bags down, Bitty’s pies found a place on a side table, and Jack pulled them all into a tight hug. Bitty giggled, somewhat squashed under Jack’s arm and into Kent’s shoulder. He leaned up to kiss Kent’s cheek. It hadn’t been long since the last time they’d all been together, but any time apart warranted a thorough hello. Jack bent to kiss Kent’s other cheek, but Kent saw him coming and turned his head to catch Jack’s lips with his own. Bitty gave a soft little sigh as he watched. Kent and Jack pulled apart, lingering in each others’ space for a moment to smile softly, and then Kent turned to give Bitty a kiss.

Jack was watching them appreciatively when he heard a strange little gurgling sound followed by the sensation of something sliding past his legs. They all looked down; at some point, Kit had left the couch and come across the room to see what all the fuss was about. The gurgling had been a purr.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Kent said as he scooped her up. She allowed it, clearly comfortable with her human dad handling her. He kissed the top of her head and set her back down. Bitty cooed again as he knelt and offered his hand to her. She appraised him for a few long seconds, and then headbutted his hand. Both Bitty and Kent broke out into wide grins as he scratched behind her ears and smoothed his fingers over her fur. She made the gurgling purr again.  
“Bitty is officially Kit-approved,” Kent proudly declared.

Bitty sat down on the floor to keep petting her, all of his attention on this tiny cat that Jack would have mistaken for a kitten if he didn’t know that she was at least four years old (by the shelter’s estimate). Kent stood by with his hands stuffed in his pockets, looking entirely pleased that his boyfriend and his pet were getting along so well. Jack wasn’t sure what to do with himself. Kit looked pretty content to be showered with Bitty’s attention, and he didn’t want to intrude on the moment.

The cat finally lost interest after a good few minutes. Bitty didn’t seem disappointed, he just stood up again. “She’s a sweetheart.” Kent emphatically agreed. Both he and Bitty watched as Kit stepped carefully closer to Jack. The moment of truth, apparently.

Jack stood very still. He didn’t want to startle her. He was actually holding his breath. She sniffed at his leg and he was just about to reach down and experimentally pet her when-

_Pain._

She was halfway up his leg before he even registered what had happened, and had made it to his torso before he could react. He let out a yelp, a sound not at all usual for him, and jerked violently. That only made Kit’s claws dig in deeper. Her eyes were wide, as if to say _I've made a mistake_. So were Jack’s. He shook himself in an attempt to get her off, and then froze. What if he hurt her? Kent must be worried about the same thing, because Jack distantly hears his voice shrieking “What are you doing to my daughter?!”

Kit seemed to be frozen in fear, eyes wide, ears pinned back, and claws sinking deeper into Jack’s flesh. He cautiously reached for her. He had no idea how to hold a cat, so he just made a guess as to where to grab. There probably wasn’t a right answer, given how agitated Kit was, but in any case, Jack guessed wrong. She squirmed violently in his grip, claws flying once again, hissing all the while. For a tiny cat, she really packed a punch. By the time Jack managed to set her on her feet, his arms were a mess of scratches. Kit, for her part, decided she’d had enough of the whole ordeal and streaked out of the room.

Jack looked up at his boyfriends with something of a lost expression, bleeding arms dangling.  
Kent looked stunned, caught between outrage at the mistreatment of his precious cat, and worry for Jack. Bitty had one hand over his heart, and the other over his mouth. Jack was confused to see the glint of tears in his eyes, until he realized that he was holding back laughter.  
“I think she thought you were a tree, Zimms,” Kent said, as if that might make it better. Bitty choked and Kent had to slap his back as he coughed, still fighting giggles all the while.

“I’m _sorry_ , honey, it’s just...Ohmygod.”

Once they’d collected themselves, Kent led them further inside. Their first stop was the bathroom, where Jack’s wounds were inspected and bandaids applied over the worst of the scratches. Since the ones on his torso needed the most attention, Jack had to remove his shirt. They got a little distracted.

Jack’s mind was still on Kit, though. Cats were unpredictable to him and he knew that it wasn’t the end of the world if she didn’t like him. But he wanted her to. They were supposed to be building a family together, however unconventional. Kit was part of it. He was determined to get her to like him. Or accept him, at least.

_X_

Over the next few days, Kit would not stay in a room with Jack for more than a few minutes at a time. It wasn’t much of a problem at first because the three of them spent a lot of time either in the bedroom or out sightseeing. Kit was, of course, welcome in Kent’s bedroom, but they closed the door when they didn’t want to be interrupted.

She still approached Bitty, seeking out treats and affection. She positively doted on Kent and would have entire “conversations” with him where he spoke casually to her and she meowed back at him. It would have been sweet if Jack hadn’t felt so left out.

One evening, as Jack returned to the living room after an important phone call with Falconers management, he found Bitty and Kent cuddled up on the couch with Kit stretched out over their laps. He paused in the doorway. On the one hand, he wanted to join them. Cuddling with his boyfriends was one of the highlights of his existence. On the other, he knew that if he approached, Kit would spring from her perch and dart into the bedroom. He took a step forward. She didn’t seem to notice him. Bitty did, though, and motioned for him to come over. He was slow and as silent as he could be, barely breathing.

Jack made it to about a foot away from the couch when Kit visibly tensed, drawing herself up into a crouch. He froze. Kent sighed. Kit decided that she’d had enough of this stand-off and leapt to the floor to leave. She didn’t run as though under attack, though, which Jack supposed was an improvement.

Though he was no longer a member of the Samwell Men’s Hockey team, both Jack and Shitty were honorary members of the SMH group chat. This is where Jack went looking for cat related advice. He wasn’t sure what he expected.

Chowder was allergic to cats and had no real input, except to wish Jack luck.

Lardo suggested leaving the poor animal alone. If she wanted to approach him, she would eventually.

Ransom and Holster...were very eager to help.

_Bro, you should sing her lullabies in Québécois._

_Yeah man, she’ll be lulled by your dulcet Canadian tones._

_Aaawww you never call my Canadian tones dulcet, Holtzy._

  
Jack made sure he was alone before he tried it. There was no effect. Kit hid in her litter box.

_I got you, broski. What you do is you make a powerpoint about why she should like you and present it to her._

_BRO THAT’S GENIUS!!!!_

Jack did not try that one.

_Jack, my man. What you gotta do is stand outside her window with a boombox and play ‘What’s New, Pussycat?’ on repeat it’ll work trust me I’m a biology major._

Wait, really? After considering the suggestion for another minute, Jack swore and decided not to listen to any more of Ransom and Holster’s ideas. That didn’t mean they stopped providing them.

_BRO. I got it!!!!!! You strip naked and cover yourself in catnip and sushi as an offering._

Jack groaned and knocked his forehead against a wall.

Shitty joined the conversation by way of: _Jack, brah, don’t listen to these dingdongs_

  
Thank God, Jack thought, a voice of reason.

_(although if you get naked and cover yourself in sushi I fully support you)_

_Communication is fuckin key you need to have a family meeting with her just sit down and talk it out._

  
Jack wondered if any of them really understood that he was talking about a literal cat.

He found that Bitty had been following the conversation when he came into the kitchen, where Bitty was sitting on the floor next to the oven, holding his phone, actually crying he was laughing so hard.

“If you...oh my Lord, if you strip and cover yourself in sushi you have to take pictures.” He dissolved into giggles again. Jack scowled at him.

“You’re no help. Kit loves you, why can’t you put in a good word for me?”

“Oh honey, bless your heart.”

Jack glowered and Bitty stopped laughing long enough to sigh.

“I’m trying, but she won’t listen to reason.”

He dissolved into giggles again and Jack decided it was a lost cause.

_X_

It was one of those weekends when Bitty was back at Samwell, working on finals in preparation for graduation. Jack was determined not to distract him but he had time off, so he flew down to spend the time with Kent.

Lying naked in bed with one or both of his lovers was one of Jack’s favorite ways to spend time. He and Kenny were unhurried, just sliding hands over skin and through hair, exchanging lazy kisses. Somewhere during that time, another body had joined them on the bed. Kent sighed against Jack’s neck.

“It’s just Kit. Forgot to close the door.”

Jack went very still. All thoughts of lovemaking had fled, and instead he was entirely concentrated on the cat that was standing at the edge of the bed, watching them. Her green eyes were bright and interested.

“Baby, we’re not decent,” Kenny said. “Off the bed till we’re done.”

“No, it’s okay.”

Kent gave him a horrified look.

“Jack Laurent Zimmermann, Kit is my tiny infant daughter and you want her to see us doing the nasty?!” He often censored his speech when Kit was around. He didn’t want to scar her.

“No! No, I’m not...This is just the closest she’s gotten to me in weeks.”

Kent’s expression softened.

Kit didn’t stay after all. She lost interest and hopped off the bed, but didn’t seem to be in a hurry. Jack lay back and Kent snuggled close, head pillowed on his chest.

“You really care whether she likes you or not, huh?”

Jack nodded. Kent smoothed his fingers over Jack’s chest hair.

“Why?”

Jack paused. He’d never had to say it aloud before. Maybe it would sound silly, he wasn’t sure. All he knew was how strongly he felt about the matter.

“She’s important to you. You call her your baby, she’s like your kid. I’m...like an adoptive dad.”

“Yeah, but she’s a cat. Not like you have to worry about driving her to school.”

“I might have to drive her to the vet.”

“Zimms…”

“No, Kenny. I’m serious. I know she means a lot to you. You dote on her. And we - you, me, and Bitty - we’re a family now, kind of. It’s my responsibility to make sure you’re both okay, that nothing’s wrong between any of us. And Kit’s part of your family. So she should be part of mine, and Bitty’s. We’re all in it together.”

Kent sat up to stare at Jack, his expression unreadable.

“Fuck, Jack,” he finally breathed. “I didn’t…”

“And things between us have been so bad in the past. I don’t want...I can’t afford to mess up again. I’ll do anything.”

Kent threw himself down onto Jack, kissing him hard. “Jack Zimmermann, you beautiful fucking idiot. Things aren’t gonna go back to how they were after the draft just because my cat doesn’t love you.”

“But I-”

Kenny held a finger to Jack’s mouth. “And you’re wrong. It’s not just up to you to make this relationship work. We’ve all got that responsibility.”

“I know, but-”

“Ah-ah-ah! No buts. Jack, I’m not gonna quit with you if Kit doesn’t like you. This shit takes time. You think I don’t worry about messing things up again?”

Jack was silent. Kent had a point.

Kent sighed and nuzzled into Jack’s neck. “Love you, Zimms,” he mumbled, almost too quietly to hear. “Even if my cat hates you.”

_X_

It took almost a year to get here. Jack sat on Kent’s couch, leaning back under the weight of both of his boyfriends. They were dangerously close to sliding off the edge; the couch wasn’t really made for three people to cuddle at once. Not to mention the smallish cat that padded over their bodies to perch, balanced between Jack’s shoulder and the back of the couch.

Kit Purrson had not changed her opinion that Jack was some kind of tree monster. But over the months, she seemed to have decided that he wasn’t such a bad tree monster after all. Bitty had finally taken pity on Jack and made some tuna treats for Jack to present to her. Kent had taught him how best to play with her, how she liked to chase feathers on strings and play “goalie” with a little stuffed mouse. Kit had discovered that Jack, the most enormous creature she’d ever met, possessed shoulders that made very good vantage points for her to survey her kingdom from. And she’d learned to use less claw when clambering up his legs.

Bitty was asleep, snuffling softly against Jack’s side, though not quite snoring. Kent’s eyelids drooped, but he wasn’t quite out yet. He smiled lazily up at Jack. Jack’s eyes, however, were on the cat seated at his shoulder. Kit headbutted him gently and rubbed her face against his cheek.

“Big happy family,” Kenny said, voice slurred as sleep started to take him.


End file.
